Am I a fan?
Even a month before, never thought that SSR will occupy such a major part of my mind. In the wildest of my dream never imagined that I need to pen down about him. I never saw a movie of him before Dhoni. Needless to mention I could understand the tremendous potential of him as an actor and as a perfectionist. Then once in a long flight I did watch Kedarnath and was once again super impressed by his acting and anything wrt Mahadeva is too close to me as well just like him. Finally during the lockdown days, happened to see Chhichhore. Once again he transported me to my college days when life was so within my control. The way SSR changed from the college version to the fatherly figure in the same movie was again only a sign of his acting prowess.
Then suddenly on 14th June heard SSR is no more. Immediately felt a strange void as if I lost someone from my family. Soon saw the half eyes opened picture of him which still continues to haunt me and seek justice whenever I try to sleep. I don’t proclaim that I am his biggest fan or anything close but what I know I can’t accept the fact that he was murdered and I can’t move on with my life without seeking for the deserved justice. That’s the least everyone should ask for.
Sushant as I know
Though I never came close to even comment to any of his post in Insta when he was alive yet in the last 1 month like millions of Indians I have got a grasp of him as an immensely sharp and intelligent person with the best smile one can possibly have.
He could play tennis, was an ambidextrous archer, played guitar, danced really well, wrote self -musing quotes whose meaning most of the overhyped super stars of Bollywood won’t even understand even if they try to do so. I could see he was passionately chanting Shambhu as part of a jamming session which was almost divine.
He was well read with the Vedas, practiced mix martial arts, physically one of the fittest, handsome with an amazing voice quality. As a super techie guy he had very good knowledge about Artificial Intelligence and even wrote programs for building games during the lockdown phase. He was amazed by the stars, galaxies and universe. Had such depth to even co-relate Theory of relativity with the divine Avatamsaka Sutra. At an age of 34 he did purchase land in the moon and also took training in NASA how to land on the moon surface. He even flew a plane. He used to quote Descartes, spoke about panpsychism and even mentioned Peter principle with great example. Additionally he was such a down to earth yet highly ambitious at the same time. He had a big heart, wanted to make education free in India, invested a lot of money in Niti Ayog for women entrepreneurship. Sushant was even concerned about environment, you can see in his insta he was really worried on the Amazon Rain forest fires as well. Doesn’t look too depressing so far right (as THEY say he was).
The Murder
Yes, we know the best of the persons leave early because God wants them back. But this was not the time and definitely not the way to take him back. I won’t waste time to discuss on suicide vs murder as it is clear for me with the limited amount of intelligence that I have, he was murdered and that’s all about it. If someone proves that he did commit suicide that person has to answer and convince me on a lot of open questions. 2 important points worth mentioning, he was doing a 2 clap push up 10 weeks back from now and was following the below routine precisely 9 weeks back.
- 7 hours of optimized sleep
- Regular meditation
- Writing a journal.
- Frequent Exercise
- Optimizing digital time
- Intermittent fasting
He even had a list of 50 dreams of which many he could tick and many he couldn’t. Doesn’t normally come from a mentally or clinically depressed person to say the least.
The Future
Indian people have a very myopic memory in my opinion. We tend to forgive and forget quickly. But this time it should not be such. It’s most unfortunate that we as a nation have made Bollywood like this. We worshiped and a majority of people will still continue to worship heroes who are post 50 and yet love to play college going students role. A person who stammers while speaking dialogue with widened arms and cheeky smile is good enough to be accepted as king of romance. I mean let’s put it I have been also a fan on many occasion but yes, it was a mistake. Most of the movie script are meaningless, depth less, yet we have over hyped these actors. Another one thinks keeping aviator glasses behind the head and dancing with a towel between the legs call for machismo and reason for box office mega hit. So yes, in a way we all are responsible for Sushant’s death when we do choose incorrect Hero and start worshiping them. However, it is high time now to send a message to the Bollywood big shots that Who was Sushant. Yes, it is perfectly OK to date your first actor. Yes, Sushant’s name was indeed long like an address but an address for a perfect gentleman who had a golden heart and fan following that Bollywood could never have possibly imagined.
Yes Sushant was too hot to be handled by the Bollywood family which gets further established on the silence of this family post his murder. He was always made to feel to be an outsider, it was tough for them to accept him as he was playing in the top league with the established ones and easily could have dethroned them any day. However, I pray to God from whatever good deeds I have done in life to take those all and provide him justice in return. Also I will never watch a Bollywood movie until all the correct culprits are behind bars and punished as per our law.
As I wind up just wanted to mention I do have Sophie just like SSR had Fudge and I can tell with confidence if you have a pet the last thing anyone ever can do is commit suicide. I just cannot think of leaving this world leaving my pet behind.
SSR, I will continue to be inspired from you rest of my life, you will always occupy a special place in my heart and hope to meet you in some lifetime.
Yeh Duriya Filhaal Hain.
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