When the going gets tough….

Since stone age or may be earlier man and woman (both lovers and married couples) fight. Both have points to justify their stand but one of them must be wrong in front of a neutral person. What to do at this point of time? Is it worth shouting, fighting, being abusive to each other? No prize for guessing. It’s absolutely meaningless infact it creates more tension and distance between each other. All of the time we are told that communication holds the key. But I can vouch that during these times polite communication from one of the side (let’s say from man’s side)  reflects losing ground as seen by his wife and vice versa. So no solution. Then what is the right thing to do. Well let’s try to make a check list of what can be done best during these times.

1. Stop emotional talks totally but don’t forget to communicate on absolute necessary fronts. Like I won’t be having dinner tonight in advance if our wife is cooking, I will be late from office. Do I need to drop you if she needs a ride somewhere and all other emergency situations.

2. No point trying to force partners to accept their faults. I mean come on we all are adults. If they don’t think they are mistaken then so be it. Accept it. Don’t let your composure break if the other one does not admit their fault.

3. Try to take care of your own health at this point of time. Because you will be mentally drained out. So have lot of water, proper healthy food.

4. Start exercising, meditation and by all means continue even after you both reach a settlement. This will make you mentally tough and confident to face all odds in future too.

5. Give your partner enough time and space to make him/her realize how life will be in each other’s absence. If he/she starts living apart take it positively. Time and personal space solves a lot of issues. The more you try to convince and want him/her back it definitely goes in the other way. Even if you are able to convince forcibly it will be just a matter of time before you both end up in the same situation.

6. Engage yourself in the activities which you did not have time to do earlier.Try to take up more activities which helps the under privileged people of our society. Teach poor kids, spend time with old people in old age home. Don’t just sit n watch TV and waste these time.

7. Spend more time with you. When was the last time you had a whole day of free time just for you only. Start loving yourself. After all you are your best friend first. Make yourself happy. Do the things which makes you happy. Utilize this time to the fullest.

8. Don’t make too much effort to make your relationship work beyond a point. Remember if the man is losing something then the woman also loses it. Both of them have equal number of years, emotions and all other stakes invested in that relationship. So you alone are not losing only. Lastly an open question to all who reads this.

What is Love for you? Define that first.Most of the time what we say Love is just being prisoner of our habits. We have to kiss each other when we are romantic, we have to check on whether my partner reached somewhere in time or not and a whole lot of other things. For me love is when I watch my wife sleeping. Not that I am afraid to face her awake 🙂 For me love is even under stressful situation of fight, when I wake her up in the morning, for a split second she opens her eyes oblivious of our fight and then only realize that we are having a tough time and changes her reaction.For me Love is remembering all good things what had happened between us even during the fights and bad ones too. Love is letting it go. It’s like a handful of sand. The more you want to squeeze it the more you will find it slipping away. So don’t ever be possessive. It does not do good. Your partner needs to realize whether he/she needs you in life. Where you fall in his/her priority list. If he/she has whole lot to do in life to satisfy oneself then let them do it. Don’t be a spoilsport. But do remember not to accept him/her once again when he/she ever comes back. You should not become a tennis ball in terms of your emotion that it can be hit to and fro whenever your partner wants. Hence, even after time and space he/she decides no you are not the right one, then accept it and move on. It is definitely tough but don’t be afraid to stop compromising beyond a certain point. You must have enough things to do and if not then better start having them. You have one life don’t waste in being depressed and imbibing negative energy. So be the tough one and get going!

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